The Kofford Family relocates to Colorado after 40 years as Californians. In December of 2007, Grandma Lorraine is diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer. Sadly, she passed away on Dec. 26th, 2008 after a year long courageous battle. Follow our journey as we keep Lorraine's memory alive, and as we learn to appreciate that each day we are given, is a gift to be enjoyed!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
~Maria Robertson

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Football in the snow and a spaghetti dinner

A week and a half ago, life was normal, predictable, and routine. Within that time, our lives have been turned upside down, and the things we once put so much importance in, have now been overshadowed with a new reality of time. I have learned that time spent with family, time spent laughing, playing a game, or just visiting, is to be treasured moment by moment.

Tonight I sat with my mom as we enjoyed our spaghetti dinner together. We talked about her wishes, things she still wants to do, and the ways she wants to be remembered. The neurosurgeon stopped by, and wanted to talk as well. He told us about the people he knew who had passed away from the same type of brain cancer my mom has. He told her this cancer gives her a gift, to have time to say, "Goodbye", unlike his 20 year old patient earlier this week, who died tragically in a car accident and did not have that same, "gift." He explained to us, that whether she has a few months or a year, that she should go and live her life the way she chooses, while she still has the remaining brain power to do so. He looked her in the eye and said that she should not worry, that she should fight to the end and have hope. He wanted her to know that although her health will eventually decline, the end would not be painful, and she should not fear it. A week and a half ago, we never even pondered such things, or imagined we should need to.

As we ate our dinner together, and discussed his comments, I thought of Tom making banana milkshakes with the kids, of him playing football in the snow with Kyle, and of his unconditional willingness to fight this cancer battle with us. Tom has given us all his gift of time and presence. I thought of my mom raving about my mediocre spaghetti meal, and that it didn't matter that it wasn't a gourmet meal, but it was a gift of time shared together. Everyday moments with family and friends, playing football, making a milkshake, or sharing a meal; these are the gifts of time the doctor spoke of. The end should not be feared, but the time spent living should be enjoyed.

We will enter the first 6 week battle of cancer armed with radiation, chemotherapy, and hope. We will enter it, knowing time is ours to enjoy, no matter if that time is measured in days, months, or years. Our time spent with my mom, watching the kids play, of visiting and reminiscing, will be our lasting gifts. I hope you too will savor all those little moments with your family, and know that time, is your gift too.

8 comments:

Beth said...

Niece Denise,
It's so wonderful to see the photos of the family and your mom's beautiful smile as she watches Ashlyn and Butterscotch. All my love and prayers are with you! Love, Auntie Beth :o)

Anonymous said...

Lorraine you look great. Keep on smiling and keep that positive attitude!

You are truely amazing!

Laura & Family

Wiley said...

What a wonderful attitude to have! You are totally right that we need to appreciate every moment together with loved ones! Our continued prayers and thoughts go out to all of you!

Love,
The Wileys

Kim said...

Loved seeing the photos of your beautiful mom and Ashlyn. Sweet smiles! Thank you for taking the time to keep us all updated and sharing your thoughts and heart in each message. We love your whole family!

Anonymous said...

Dear Family, I am Auntie Beth's friend & co-worker. She often shares and updates me about her family, the visits, your pictures, losing her brother your father not too long ago, and our concern for your mother Lorraine (even before this awful news)and I just wanted you to know that you all are daily prayed for by my husband & myself.

Yes, take advantage of every minute you are blessed with.

Love Marjo & Danny

Anonymous said...

Denise and Tom,

Thank you for your blog, and caputuring the words at this difficult time. We are here with you and will be there in any time of need. Please call on us.
Grace and Peace to you!

The Steer Family

Anonymous said...

Lorraine,

Through all this your radiant smile shines! You have passed that contagious smile to your beautiful daughter and granddaughter along with a bubbling exuberance for each and every little thing in life. What a gift you have given, not only to them, but to all of us.

Great Gram sends her best. In the brief encounters the two of you had, you touched her deeply, talking and visiting with her like she is still a vital person and not some ederly person to be shoved aside. My Gram is a strong person, she has endured a lot in 95 years and rarely cries. But when she got your news, she cried and remarked you are probably the kindest and most sincere person she has ever met.

In 95 years, I am sure she has met quite a few people but her observation is so true!

Thanks for being who you are and for what you have shared in ways you don't even know.

In the lastest blog update, I am glad that you and Denise know that "E" stands for Enjoy and not Endure.

Our prayers, thoughts and any help that we can give are with you.

Love,

Cindy

Anonymous said...

Lorraine, Denise and family,

Thank you for keeping everyone so informed and know that we send our love and prayers to you all.
Let us know if there is any thing we can do.

We love all the pictures!

Love,
Toni B. and family