The Kofford Family relocates to Colorado after 40 years as Californians. In December of 2007, Grandma Lorraine is diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer. Sadly, she passed away on Dec. 26th, 2008 after a year long courageous battle. Follow our journey as we keep Lorraine's memory alive, and as we learn to appreciate that each day we are given, is a gift to be enjoyed!

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
~Maria Robertson

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Sunday thoughts from my mom..."Let's have some fun!"

Thank you readers for your encouraging blog comments! Your words encourage both my mother and me, they make us smile, and they bring us comfort during a difficult time. I can't thank you all enough for your support and for caring about us.

It was a quiet, cool and overcast day today with rain in the afternoon. The Christmas lights were on in the house, the fireplace was burning with a soft glow, Christmas music played on the TV, and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse! :-)

A secret Santa came early and dropped off a special something for the kids...this secret Santa knew that the Christmas season would be tough for two children who would soon be losing their Grandma. Thank you Santa for remembering little ones, especially those who may not have a truly "merry" Christmas, but who wouldn't stop believing in you since you "believed" in them. (I know you understand what that means.)

I was able to drive out to my in laws and had a great visit with Tom's parents. Ron and Billie are so welcoming, and I feel so comfortable with them. They are such good listeners, and they encourage me in ways they don't even realize! Thank you Billie for the delicious persimmon cookies too...they have been enjoyed by house guests, caregivers, and me!

Two special friends came by today that worked with my mom at "Antelope School." They came to visit her, but I enjoyed spending time with them too! Thank you Obdulia and Sheri for your friendship, kindness, and for sharing special stories about my mom that I hadn't heard. My mom was sleepy through most of the visit, but several times said, "Oh yes, that was fun!" and "Wasn't that exciting!" Right before they left it brought tears to my eyes when she quietly said, "Let's have some fun!" Only my mom could find a way to "have fun" from her bedside! What a lady!

My sister in law shared with me how she regretted not having a picture of her mother's hands. I remembered this and asked my mom if I could take a picture of her pretty hands. You'll notice in the picture below my mom's beautifully manicured fingertips. Yes, her nail gal makes house calls, and my mom has continued to have her nails and toes done regularly! (Did I tell you when she was in the hospital in Colorado that she looked up in a phone book the name of nail salons and called one to send a nail tech to the hospital?) Yes, she did come, and continued to do my mom's nails until we brought her home to CA! Oh Mom, I love your style!

Annette and her husband Fred came by as Annette does each day, and when my mom heard Fred's voice, she again became more alert. A manly voice seems to rouse her best. We enjoyed our visit with them and had several good laughs as we always do! Thank you Fred and Annette for everything...from meal prep, to paying bills, to replacing fire alarms, and for hugging me every time I tear up! Your presence has been such a comfort for both my mom and me!

Sharon has been with us for 3 nights and 2 days, and I know she must be exhausted. The three caregivers my mom has are remarkable women...they call and stop by on their days off, they work extra hours so the others can spend time with their families, and they cater to my mother's every need which brings me such peace of mind. Thank you Gayle, Sande, and Sharon for doing all the things that are hard for me, but not for you, and for doing them with great love!

Her caregivers have encouraged me to fly home and spend Christmas with my family, so with a heavy heart, I will say, "Goodbye" tomorrow. Although I miss my children and Tom, I wanted to be here for my mom's passing. Fortunately, she has been eating more, and is doing better, so they felt it could be weeks now instead of days. There will continue to be ups and downs in this final journey. Either way, I wanted to be here, and I leave feeling sad and unsure. I will return after Christmas, and hopefully my "goodbye" can be, "Hello" once again. If not, I still believe that we will never truly say, "goodbye" but instead, "...until we meet again."

10 comments:

LenaLoo said...

You are so strong! You, your mom, and your family are in my prayers... I need to ask my mom if she knew your mom from the school district, when did she move? Another coincidence, I live in Sacramento now! If you need anything while you are in town, e-mail me at innergreenfairy at gmail dot com... Blessings in this hard time...

glitzen said...

Oh what lovely hands indeed! i am glad you thought of that. I love your mom's style too, my mom would do that very same thing..she has a thing about her toenails especially.
I will be thinking and praying for your nonstop. Fly safe, and may your heart be comforted in small ways and big. I am so glad for the wonderful people who surround you and your mom.

LenaLoo said...

You don't have to deal with it now, but there is an award for you on my blog, I made it myself... Stay strong!

Beth said...

Today I was sitting here having a pity party... Christmas anxiety and I asked God to help me to get past it...where did God lead me...to your blog! I have read it off and on for a week or so... Bless you...you are so strong and a loving daughter. Your time with your mom is so precious and she DOES have beautiful hands. I hope through it all you will have a Merry Christmas.. God Bless!

DeClercq said...

Our thoughts and prayers will be with you as you fly home to be with your family for Christmas!
If the Hospice and Caregivers say it's O.K. go home, they usually know what's best. Trust in their judgement and try and enjoy the Holidays at home. I know it will be hard to leave your Mom. But, you'll be back to Celebrate with her. You can ring in the New Year together.

Love Laura

Lorri said...

Tissue alert!

We are here if you need anything in Colorado...last minute gifts, wrapping, cookies - you name it!

Love, Lorri

Charlene said...

Denise, your mom definitely has beautiful hands! We will pray for a safe trip home. I believe that God has given you this time to go home and spend it with Tom and the kids. I know that your mom would want you to go and have that quality time with them. You can then come back with all the wonderful stories of the kids to share with your mom. I pray that you will be able to ring in the New Year with her! I hope that you will be able to find peace and enjoyment this Christmas.

Love Always,
Charlene

Lucy Marie said...

Thank you for sharing this journey. It is a blessing. Praying for you on your journey home for Christmas. Praying for safe travels, peace and comfort. The picture of your mother's hands are beautiful. God bless you!

Lori said...

Geri (glitzen) told me to come by your blog. She told me what you are going through, what your Mom is going through and how amazing it was to read how you were dealing with it all.
I have a very special Mom too so i was scared to come read this. I am crying but I'm so glad to know you and your Mom and the special relationship you have. I love my Mom with all my heart and know I will lose her in the next few years most likely. My hear aches. God bless you. I'm praying for both of you as your sister in Christ.
Lori

sue bakalar said...

I sit here reading your beautiful blog with tears in my eyes, knowing how hard it is for you to go home right now... but know that neither your mom nor you are alone. God knows the plan. He will be with both of you and take care of what's best. Just trust in Him and know that it will be ok.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of a family... a true family. Your mom, you, those who care for your mom, and each other... it's such a wonderful outpouring of love.

Travel safely and know you're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Love ya!!