Silence...

Arriving home...

I arrived in Sacramento safely last night. My mom's good friend Toni, graciously picked me up at the airport late at night, and she was wonderful company on the 2 hour foggy drive home. She waited with me at my folks house until I felt comfortable, and then when she went home...for the first time, in 42 years, I was truly alone, for good, in my parents home. I didn't have to be, several people, including Toni, offered me rooms if I was uncomfortable, but I wanted to stay.

I didn't sleep well, (which should have been expected) and woke up this morning with a strange sensation. I didn't open my eyes right away, and just for a moment...I waited.

I was waiting to hear the sound of my mom unloading the dishwasher as she once did before brain cancer took away that ability. I waited to smell breakfast cooking. I waited to hear my dad's deep voice talking about the events of the day. I waited to hear him talk about what he would do with his airplanes, and where he would fly that day, just as he did everyday until Oct. 2006. I waited to hear doors opening and closing as someone took out the trash or watered plants. I wished for a moment, that everything was the way it once was a few short years ago.

But that didn't happen.

Instead, I opened my eyes, and there was only one sound present...the sound of silence.

Emptiness.

Let me show you what it looks like...

Driving up a driveway, but no one is home. Nor are they ever coming home again.


Opening the front door, but no one is there to welcome me.


A beautiful walkway, and no father to walk beside me carrying luggage.


A quiet kitchen, and no mother behind the sink.


Two empty chairs, and no parents sitting in them.

And then, I found this poem in an old autograph book from 1955 that belonged to my mom. It went like this...

"I met you as a stranger,
I leave you as a friend,
I hope we meet in heaven,
Where friendship never ends."

The house is empty. My parents are gone. There is no changing that, yet there is hope. For one day... "We'll meet in heaven, where friendship never ends."